


Fallacies of the Golden Boy

by FlammableThoughts



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Other, first fanfic ever so go easy on this one, first fic, sorta angst but the writer loses track, the author doesn't understand how the timey wimey bullshit works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 16:59:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18695620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlammableThoughts/pseuds/FlammableThoughts
Summary: Bucky realises then that that was Steve, he just wasn't Bucky's Steve and that he didn't want to stay as Bucky's Steve the moment he stepped on the launching pad.aka the MCU screwed Buck over and the author screws him over a little more





	Fallacies of the Golden Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> This is my first fanfic ever as mentioned in the tags, please go easy on this. 
> 
> Warning: I digress a lot. 
> 
> Please tell me if I made any mistakes.
> 
> Constructive criticism appreciated :)

Steve left.

He stood on the launching pad and had Bucky known that that was the last time he was gonna see his Steve, he would’ve pushed him off and taken the damn stones back himself, fuck the world. Bucky laughed, fuck the world. Steve didn’t come back and Bucky doesn’t understand why, just why, he would do that. 

Steve wasn’t truly gone.

An old man sat on the bench and Bucky watched as Sam approached him. Watched the legacy of Captain America get passed on. Right in front of his fucking face. He was happy for Sam, no one deserved it more than him. Then the old man- he wasn’t Steve, not his Steve- turned and smiled at him. Bucky bristled, numbness filled his core as he realised that this was Steve, he just wasn’t Bucky’s Steve anymore. That he didn’t want to stay as Bucky’s Steve anymore the minute he went back. When the old ma- Steve opened his mouth, Bucky stood his ground. He wasn’t going to run away like some coward, he was a trained soldier for fuck’s sake. He has faced worse things, he was tortured by Hydra for 70 years, he fought the Iron Man, he was chased by a man in a catsuit with deadly kitty claws - he had been turned to fucking dust by some purple grape. So, no, Bucky wasn’t going to run. 

He stood there and pushed all the pain down his throat as Steve smiled and told him about how he went back and saw Peggy. “It was like I was a scrawny soldier again.” Bucky smiled and told Steve that he was happy for him. Steve didn’t apologise and Bucky didn’t ask for it. 

Bucky hated every second. 

He wanted to scream and shake Steve- except he might break Steve’s hip just by poking him. Bucky wanted to cry and more than anything he wanted to go back into the ice so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the iffy emotions. He wanted to spit out all his feelings of betrayal but he was sure it was against the law to hurt a senior citizen (heart attacks are a number one killer after the Winter Soldier) and he really was trying to turn over a new leaf. Bucky smiled and nodded at everything Steve said. 

“It was perfect. I couldn’t imagine it another way.”, Steve smiled as bright as the sun and behind Bucky, Sam and Bruce winced. Was Bucky not enough? Bucky knew they weren’t perfect but it had to mean something. Sam and Bruce shot him twin looks of pity and excused themselves. Nice people, they left Bucky alone with the man who turned his back on him. Had it not been enough? They had fought so many people and villains to be together- heck Bucky could make like 3 movies out of all they had done to be together. At least that’s what Bucky was fighting for. He thought Steve was too but looking at him with his soft grey hair and worn face, Bucky wasn’t sure anymore. Perhaps they had been fighting different fights this entire time. Perhaps Steve truly didn’t see Bucky the way Bucky saw him. 

Bucky should’ve seen this coming, of course, Perfect All American Dream BoySteve Rogers would go for the Perfect All American Dream Girl Peggy Carter. It made sense. Bucky had done terrible things as the Winter Soldier, for someone as pure as Steve to love him would be too much to ask. The pain twisted inside him, coiling around his heart as Steve told him about his wife with all the love that Bucky can’t have, in his eyes.

Bucky knew, more than anyone at that moment, that he was a fool for thinking himself to be anything other than utterly unloveable.


End file.
